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What am I doing here? Did I come to see if touching these old bricks would make a difference, as if walls and arches and blackened oak doors could tell me who I am? But all I get is white noise. Whatever might whisper messages of truth to me is drowned in a whirlpool of dreary distraction. How can I find answers when I don’t even know the questions? There. A more than static dispatch on a dead screen, a jolt of consciousness in the void. Noise to signal. My senses might deceive me, but not my spine. A rain of icicles down my central cord follows, a flash of my subconscious, hollering that something has changed right outside the periphery of my perception. I know it in my heart before it reaches my head, I taste it in the air before the words dig in, knock the right frequencies and ring a harmony of message. It is a chant, a signal, a sonic watermark imprinted on the inside of my skull. A name, my name. I cannot hear the words explicitly, but I still know. This is my spine speaking. I. The orgasms began to run together. Here I was, a beautiful woman who could have just about anything I wanted and I was here at a dingy bar being gang banged. The strange thing was I couldn’t think of anyplace I would rather be.I looked around for another cock to suck or fuck. I was content to suck and fuck all night. Unfortunately, the men had thinned out and I was now alone with my thoughts. Before today, I was the type of woman who would never be caught in a place like this doing what I had done. Now, I was simply a sex toy, a nasty slut. It occurred to me that I now felt comfortable with the slut label. I also knew that it was incompatible with my former status.Fred and Joe offered to take me back to the motel. The boys dropped me at the motel and declined my invitation to a private session. It seemed that they were all fucked out. Alone in the room I thought about cleaning up in the tub. I decided against it, however. I liked the feeling of all the dried sweat and cum coating my.
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